So Bad it's Good: On Deadly Ground.
Early this morning I caught the first thirty minutes or so of On Deadly Ground with Steven Seagal. I know Seagal got to do some pretty horrid movies during his stint as the ponytailed action man, but this one stands out like a bad... um... ponytail. It's all about a demolitions expert named Forrest (Seagal) who works for an oil magnate named Jennings (Michael Caine, who plays a cartoon here). He was called in to check out some incidents and malfunctions at Aegis-1, an oil rig in Alaska owned by Jennings. But soon after he arrives, he finds out that his employer has some pretty nasty plans to take over the whole region's oil resources, and he doesn't care if he destroys the environment in the process. Bad luck for him though, as Forrest turns out to be a bad-ass, dark dream turned reality-in the flesh former special forces something. Soon, Seagal's armed himself with his convenient weapons cache, allied with the local Eskimos and ready to shut down Jennings and Aegis-1 for the greater good of Mother Nature.
The funny thing about this quite violent and bloody rampage-fest for Seagal is that it's actually a very preachy environmental message. That is, if you can catch the casually-mouthed infobits and facts from Seagal in between his single-handed extermination of Jennings' army of hired thugs, mercenaries, oil workers and accounting staff (yep).
The film makes Seagal's character not only look or feel bad-ass, it has to actually make the bad guys orate minutes-long monologues saying how terrifying Seagal's character is. The fighting scenes though are inferior to fights from his better films, such as Under Siege, and border on the ridiculous. In one scene, Taft pretty much saunters into a darkened area swarming with camouflaged, hidden and dodging enemies and takes them all out without breaking a sweat. In another scene, a mercenary leader who acts like a prudent, wily veteran gets the drop on Seagal... only to waste his time blabbing his mouth and getting stupidly in range for a predictable gun swipe.
Yep, it's a cartoon, with some of the preachiest and incredibly violent peace-lessons I have seen in a movie; watch Seagal bitch-slap an obnoxious oil worker to a gibbering, bloody mess, swearing to be a better man. You just have to see it to believe it. Heh. And then there's the ending... where Seagal does a long speech on the environment and how we have to take back our world from destruction by the corporations. WOOHOO!!!
I have to say, despite being SOOOOO bad, if there's nothing on, it's better to just watch On Deadly Ground than turn off the TV. Almost makes trash like Exit Wounds and Half Past Dead look good. Almost.
Early this morning I caught the first thirty minutes or so of On Deadly Ground with Steven Seagal. I know Seagal got to do some pretty horrid movies during his stint as the ponytailed action man, but this one stands out like a bad... um... ponytail. It's all about a demolitions expert named Forrest (Seagal) who works for an oil magnate named Jennings (Michael Caine, who plays a cartoon here). He was called in to check out some incidents and malfunctions at Aegis-1, an oil rig in Alaska owned by Jennings. But soon after he arrives, he finds out that his employer has some pretty nasty plans to take over the whole region's oil resources, and he doesn't care if he destroys the environment in the process. Bad luck for him though, as Forrest turns out to be a bad-ass, dark dream turned reality-in the flesh former special forces something. Soon, Seagal's armed himself with his convenient weapons cache, allied with the local Eskimos and ready to shut down Jennings and Aegis-1 for the greater good of Mother Nature.
The funny thing about this quite violent and bloody rampage-fest for Seagal is that it's actually a very preachy environmental message. That is, if you can catch the casually-mouthed infobits and facts from Seagal in between his single-handed extermination of Jennings' army of hired thugs, mercenaries, oil workers and accounting staff (yep).
The film makes Seagal's character not only look or feel bad-ass, it has to actually make the bad guys orate minutes-long monologues saying how terrifying Seagal's character is. The fighting scenes though are inferior to fights from his better films, such as Under Siege, and border on the ridiculous. In one scene, Taft pretty much saunters into a darkened area swarming with camouflaged, hidden and dodging enemies and takes them all out without breaking a sweat. In another scene, a mercenary leader who acts like a prudent, wily veteran gets the drop on Seagal... only to waste his time blabbing his mouth and getting stupidly in range for a predictable gun swipe.
Yep, it's a cartoon, with some of the preachiest and incredibly violent peace-lessons I have seen in a movie; watch Seagal bitch-slap an obnoxious oil worker to a gibbering, bloody mess, swearing to be a better man. You just have to see it to believe it. Heh. And then there's the ending... where Seagal does a long speech on the environment and how we have to take back our world from destruction by the corporations. WOOHOO!!!
I have to say, despite being SOOOOO bad, if there's nothing on, it's better to just watch On Deadly Ground than turn off the TV. Almost makes trash like Exit Wounds and Half Past Dead look good. Almost.

0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home